28 Mar 2017    3,727 views

Dick Cheney Says There's No Doubt That Russia Has WMDs — I Mean, Hacked The Election

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The ‘Saddam has WMDs’ of 2017 has just been endorsed by the leader of the original ‘Saddam has WMDs’.

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Today in a speech at the Economic Times’ Global Business Summit, former Vice President Dick Cheney has said in no uncertain terms that Saddam Hussein definitely has weapons of mass destruction— I mean, that Russia definitely hacked the election. 

Citing a “rising number of threats” in the world, Cheney asserted that there is “no question” that Saddam Hussein, I mean Vladimir Putin, has 600 metric tons of chemical weapons that are still unaccounted for, I mean, ordered a hacking campaign to tilt the 2016 election in favor of Donald Trump. Calling this behavior an “act of war”, Cheney went on to accuse Saddam I mean Putin of plotting a 9/11-style attack on America I mean of having designs on the Baltic states. 

Gosh this is hard. I keep mixing these two stories up for some reason!

It’s a confusing mess combing though these news stories about Dick Cheney’s hawkish rhetoric. I mean, look at this quote from him on August of 2002:

“Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is no doubt he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies and against us.”

Now look at this one from today:

“There’s no question that there was a very serious effort made by Mr. Putin and his government, his organization, to interfere in major ways with our basic fundamental democratic processes.”

Can you blame me for getting mixed up? It’s almost like he’s saying and doing the same exact kind of thing fifteen years apart!

Again, here’s 2002 Cheney:

“In the days of the Cold War, we were able to manage the threat with strategies of deterrence and containment. But it's a lot tougher to deter enemies who have no country to defend. And containment is not possible when dictators obtain weapons of mass destruction, and are prepared to share them with terrorists who intend to inflict catastrophic casualties on the United States.”

…and here’s 2017 Cheney:

“Another aspect of Mr. Putin’s conduct is the issue that is now very much in the headlines at home, and that has to do with cyber warfare, cyberattack on the United States — the fact that he took his capabilities in the cyber area and used it to try to influence our election.”

This is who you’ve allied yourselves with, Democrats. This is where you’ve decided to take your stand. With war criminals like Dick Cheney, who should have stood trial at the Hague many years ago. With John McCain, who has supported every single evil act of American military interventionism in his entire lifetime, and who has pushed for many, many other acts of warfare that our world was fortunate enough to avoid. I look in liberal discussion circles and I see these bloodthirsty war criminals being celebrated as heroes for standing up to Donald Trump as though they oppose his vile human rights policies, when really they only oppose his resistance to the neocon policy of regime-change invasions. Nobody who has pushed for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians in Muslim countries actually cares about an immigrant ban on those same countries. Come on.

What have you become, Democrats? How did you get here? I think it’s worth taking a few steps back to reassess your situation. I’m not addressing the career politicians on Capitol Hill here, we all know they’re crooks; I’m addressing the real, rank-and-file members of the Democratic party. What happened to you? I’ve been watching you my whole life and I can honestly say I’ve never seen you so crazy. You used to care about the poor, the working class, economic justice, taking care of everyone, but now whenever I look in your direction I get blasted in the face with McCarthyist vitriol and George W. Bush prancing around on the Ellen show while you all cheer and talk about how you wish he could be president again instead of Trump.

This is madness, Democrats. This is not who you are. You know this. Please follow your hearts back to sanity. Thank you.




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